Pat Ritter. Books

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'Confessions of an alcoholic' - Page 107:

...There was one particular client Bundy wanted to take special care of. This person was an engineer who’d presented at the unit for ‘detoxification’. He’d recently lost his job with a large construction firm for ‘drinking too much alcohol’. His family left him had hit rock bottom.
Unfortunately, ‘the penny had not dropped’ and Bundy felt in a no-win situation to help. No matter how hard he tried to help this person, he wasn’t ready to stop drinking alcohol. Most of the staff cautioned Bundy about what he was trying to do. Within six months Bundy saw this person deteriorate rapidly from first presenting dressed in a suit, wearing a shirt and tie, to seeing him present wearing clothes only seen worn by ‘street drunks’ who slept under bridges and on the street. He was finally diagnosed with ‘cirrhosis of the liver’.
Bundy could not offer any further help to this person. No one could help him only himself, which he wasn’t prepared to do. It was a bitter result for Bundy who couldn’t have done any more for this person in supporting him to change. Bundy thought he had failed in his attempt to change this person’s life.
He possessed skills in ‘problem solving’, which he acquired from his training as a detective but didn’t have the appropriate skills in counselling which he so much needed to acquire for his present position. He returned to school.
Over the next few years he studied ‘counselling’ finally receiving the ‘piece of paper’ at the end of the course. He knew what was needed now to go out into the community seeking out those people...

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'Confessions of an alcoholic' - Page 108:

...who needed help with their alcohol and drug problems.
What was happening to those clients who’d been through their ‘detoxification’ and afterwards where were they going to correct their dependency? Throughout his life he always wanted to help people. Many times he’d search into his soul trying to ‘come to grips’ within himself why many times he couldn’t help people. He wanted to know some answers.
It happened one evening when he was attending ‘counselling’ classes. His lecturer asked if any of the students would like to perform ‘a role play’ in the confrontation section of counselling. Bundy didn’t know if all of his fellow students stepped backwards from their line when volunteers were asked for. He was left standing on his own so it appeared he was the only person who volunteered to perform the role.
Confrontation in counselling is a very demanding section. The counsellor confronts their client with facts of events to empower their client enough for them to identify those hidden secrets, which may have been, buried deep down into their souls for perhaps a lifetime. It is a very demanding section, but once a break through had been made between the counsellor and client, the first steps of empowerment had been reached.
Bundy had to tell his lecturer some issues, which were worrying him, and not to discuss any client’s or names of people. He thought for a moment and decided to highlight an issue he had with ‘trying to help people’. After giving a couple of personal...

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'Confessions of an alcoholic' - Page 109:

...experiences, his lecturer confronted Bundy with the words; ‘YOU ARE A RESCUER!’
With the lecturer’s words echoing in his ears, the words rushed through his brain to be analysed by his instant thoughts, He immediately replied, ‘I’m not!’ He knew immediately what he’d done. He denied he was a rescuer. He hated the term but it was true, his lecturer used his personal experience to ‘give Bundy a shot in the arm’ so he could at least think about the word ‘rescuer’.
Bundy was never the same person again after that night. It was the beginning of a tough journey for him to overcome being a ‘rescuer’.
This journey would take him through many other soul searching sessions to reach a point in his life when he become ‘at peace’ with himself and the world. I was strong enough to stop drinking alcohol when I was twenty-eight years of age. Why can’t others do it? Echoed through his mind almost each time he was counselling a client.
He didn’t realise perhaps he was lucky to have stopped drinking. It didn’t matter ‘two hoots’ about anyone else, it was completely up to them if they wanted to stop, not an issue Bundy had to dwell on. He didn’t have a magic wand.
All he ever wanted to do was to learn and discover for himself ‘his’ journey of recovery. If he could understand what he actually had done and ‘why’ he’d done it, no doubt he would be able to help others to overcome their alcoholism. That was his mission.
His mind filtered back to the times when he was confronted by his values, such as wanting to tell people what he actually thought of them but never...

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'Confessions of an alcoholic' - Page 110:

...plucking up the courage to do it. He remembered one incident when a ‘Boss’ he worked with almost daily thought the world of him. He often praised him about his work. One day he said to Bundy, ‘what is it with you, Bundy; you never let your guard down. It’s as if you have a dozen screens in front of you that you use as a façade.’
He never had the slightest idea what his ‘Boss’ was talking about. Up until that day he’d never ever heard the word ‘facade’ used and didn’t know what it meant. He didn’t really have any idea where or how he was going to discover this journey of recovery.
Daily he visited a library reading as much as possible about alcoholism. After reading many articles about the effects alcohol had on a person’s body and mind, he was wondering if he hadn’t suffered damage from the amount of alcohol he'd consumed over the many years he drank alcohol. He felt healthy enough, if he’d killed off a few thousand-brain cells there were plenty more left in his brain to ‘keep him going’. Research material about alcoholism and programs became an obsession.
All he wanted to do was to find some answers so he could better understand, as well as provide this new found information to help others – without being a ‘rescuer’. It was like a newfound discovery questioning his past, highlighting answers by using logic with information of his discoveries found from his readings. He felt alive. A single day wouldn’t go past without reading information whether it was of use or not...

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'Confessions of an alcoholic' - Page 111:

...Suddenly pieces of the puzzle were starting to fit together into a shape of his life. He started to piece together information from his readings making his task easier by the day. Some of the information was utterly useless whilst other parts fitted together within the puzzle board. At least he had a starting point, his journey took him time to digest and understand.
I’m forty-four years of age - there’s a lot of water has already run under the bridge. All I’ve got to do is to again swim in the water to discover some of those bad habits and change them. His first discovery to know – ‘what he wanted out of life – how he was going to get it. He wanted ‘peace of mind’ and wanted to digest his past fears of abandonment – rejection – betrayal, which he’d experienced throughout his childhood from his loved ones. Could he sustain the strength to alter all of these thoughts as they appeared, so he could grow to become the person he wanted to become? That was his task.
One night while he attended a class at college his lecturer referred to 'Cycle of Life’. In this cycle, there were two things happen in people’s lives - people are born and they die, in between they live. Some live to fulfil their ambitions and dreams whilst others plod along through life, existing.
According to this ‘Cycle Of Life’, from birth until six years of age was a very important learning period of a child’s future lifestyle. From digesting this information Bundy pieced together the important material to make sense for himself about his life. He remembered when he was six years of age. It was a period wholly consumed by love...

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'Confessions of an alcoholic' - Page 112:

...attention and nurturing and had no qualms about that period of his life.
From the age of six years to thirteen years is a period of the role his parents played in his life. Alcohol played an important part in this period; often witnessing his relatives gathered together celebrating by drinking alcohol. It was during this period he first tasted alcohol.
Thirteen years to nineteen years, which are commonly referred to as the child’s adolescent period, he recognised his pattern of behaviour to ‘Peer Group Pressure’.
While swimming in the murky waters of remembrance, his mind swung back to the time when he was a teenager leaving his parents home decided to live by himself. Unfortunately, he gravitated towards people who drank alcohol. He couldn’t believe how this lecturer, helped him to realise some logical discoveries of reasoning, which caused him to enjoy drinking alcohol with those people he chose to mix with.
After nineteen years of age and approaching adulthood, people who married and had a family, this sector reflected similar patterns of behaviour witnessed by them, in the sector of role his parents played in his life. From the time Bundy’s marriage to Ada, up until he stopped drinking alcohol, his behaviour pattern mirrored that sector he’d witnessed when he was between the ages of six years to thirteen years. He in fact was mirroring his own behaviour the same as he’d witnessed his father’s behaviour at a similar time. In fact, he was his father all over again. Many events in his life finally started to make sense...

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'Confessions of an alcoholic' - Page 113:

...Fortunately, this ‘Cycle of Life’ can be broken. On the thirteenth January 1977 Bundy broke his life cycle when he stopped drinking alcohol. It was now up to him to alter his behaviour. It was his choice - the ‘penny had finally dropped’. He was amazed by this new discovery. Events in his life were started to make sense to him at long last.
From the moment he stopped drinking alcohol, he made up his mind to ‘stay away from alcohol’ because he couldn’t control it because of the alcohol controlling him. Fortunately his intentions were good, whilst his life continued flowing along the same river of life, forcing him to swim in the current waters without changing his lifestyle or habits.
He stopped drinking alcohol with no trouble; however, he continued to fight the demons of life for many years without taking personal responsibility and accountability for his actions. He had not improved his self-awareness or self-belief in himself in anyway. In other words ‘he was a dry drunk!’...