Pat Ritter. Books

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'Confessions of an alcoholic

Music played in his head; it was a song sang by Slim Dusty – ‘The Pub With No Beer’. In the verse when he got to the part of – ‘Billy the blacksmith, the first time in his life, had gone home cold sober to his darling wife. He walks in the kitchen, she says, ‘You’re early my dear and he breaks down and tells her the pub’s got no beer’.
He was ‘Billy the blacksmith, going home cold sober to his darling wife Ada’, which he hadn’t done for some time. It was a strange feeling and hadn’t felt that same feeling before that day.
When he drove into the driveway, he was greeted by Nicole who ran toward the car as it stopped underneath the carport. ‘Your home Daddy,’ she excitedly called out. It must have been a shock to see her father home before she went to bed.
Ada slowly walked down the driveway with Neil walking beside her. Bundy didn’t realise how lucky a person he was to have such a wonderful family. He picked Nicole up into his arms kissing her on the cheek, to tell her he was home, Ada approached and they both kissed and hugged one another almost immediately.
Emotion seeped inside Bundy and was almost in tears saying, ‘I’m sorry for all of the shame I have caused you and the children. I will honestly try my best to keep to my promise.’
They walked inside of the house as a family together with the hope of a new beginning. Bundy had never made a promise to stop drinking alcohol for life before; he had sometimes stopped his drinking for a couple of months.

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One of his first changes he had to make was to visit Uncle Jim and apologise for his behaviour from the other night. He felt he had let so many people down and now it was time to rebuild those bridges of trust. He visited Uncle Jim said as he greeted him, ‘I’m terribly sorry for vomiting on your bike the other night. I feel terrible about it. Can I do anything to fix it?’
‘You should be sorry! It took me all night to clean up your mess. It stank with spew. What are you going to do about your drinking? Enough is enough you know.’ Uncle Jim replied with sternness in his voice.
‘I’ve promised Ada I will never drink alcohol again.’
‘That’s the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard in years, you’ll never stop - you’re an alcoholic. I’ll bet you $20.00 you don’t last a week without a drink.’
‘I’ll last the distance this time. I’ve made a promise to Ada.’
‘We’ll see. I think my $20.00 is safe at this point.’
‘There’s nothing I can do to fix your bike then?’
‘No, I’ve cleaned it and disinfected it to take away the smell of your gut.’ He replied.
‘I’ll go then. Sorry again about what I did to your bike.’
‘See you later Bundy. Don’t come around here drunk ever again. You are not welcome.’ Uncle Jim demanded.
While driving home he recalled what Uncle Jim had said to him about being an alcoholic. I’m not an alcoholic, he said to himself. An alcoholic is one of those people you find in the gutter. I’m not like that. I admit, I have a drinking problem and find it hard to stop but being an alcoholic. He pictured himself being found in the gutter someday and not wanting to end up that way.

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Confessions of an alcoholic' - Page 17:

Thoughts entered his memory bank to the times he didn’t drink alcohol. There weren’t many. He and alcohol had formed a partnership for life and it would be hard to make the break.
There were times when he’d stop drinking for about four months, when suddenly something triggered inside of his head to have THAT first drink again – making him catch up for the time he had not drank alcohol. Am I an alcoholic and don’t know it, he asked himself. What is an alcoholic?
Now, he may be able to remember more things. In the past he couldn’t remember anything while he was drinking. One of his major issues was not remembering, what had happened to those two hours from eight o’clock to ten o’clock when the barman said, ‘Last drinks gentlemen.’
What am I going to do with myself? What about the extra time I’ll have - I suppose the one good thing that has come out of all this I won’t be spending as much money as I have been spending lately.
The following day Bundy worked with Herbert. They were the only ones to work from the office. At lunchtime Herbert wanted to go to the RSL for lunch. ‘I’m only drinking scotch and water – I’ve gone off beer since the other night. Boy, did we have a night and a half; I’ve never seen you so drunk for ages.’ He said.
‘So far I haven’t drunk alcohol. I hope you never see me that way again.’ Bundy replied.

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Bundy was a person who always believed in fate and destiny. He always knew in his own mind, that things, which happened to him, were for a particular reason, either to lead him back onto the right track again, or to tempt his desires toward temptation. Having lunch with Herbert that day marked that twist of fate he always believed in, leading him onto his destiny and on with his life.

Charley, a long time friend and old workmate of both Bundy and Herbert were seated at the Club when they arrived. Neither Herbert nor Bundy hadn’t seen or spoken with Charley for many years. All three were workmates in the city years before. Charley was a senior staff member at the time who always complained about working conditions. He was one of those employees who didn’t want to change with the times. For him there were always problems with the job.
All three got on very well only Bundy and Herbert didn’t really trust Charley all that much. It was a relationship where they each played games of intrigue with one another.
Charley had been with the Police Force for many more years than either Bundy or Herbert had. He knew the ropes ‘knowing the right people at the top’ was always Charley’s ambitions. It was great for them to catch up and listen about the latest gossip from the city.
‘What are you fellas having - it’s my shout.’ Charley said.
‘I’ll have a scotch and water. Bundy what’s that stuff you’re drinking?’
‘Claytons tonic and ginger ale.’ Bundy replied.

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‘You’re off the piss again, Bundy?’ Charley remarked in astonishment.
‘I’ve promised my wife I’ll never drink alcohol again, Charley, I’m keeping to that promise.’ He replied.
‘What about the time in the city when you were working with Charley here. Do you remember?’ Charley said.
‘How could I forget?’ Bundy replied.
Charley left to get the drinks Herbert said to Bundy, ‘what was so great that happened between you and Charley?'
‘I was working the afternoon shift with Charley, and you know what he’s like. All he wanted to do was to drink instead of work. We went to the hotel next door and he asked me what I was drinking? I’d been off the booze for about four months and wanted to stay off it. I told him I wanted lemonade. You can imagine what he said to me.’
‘What’d he say?’ Herbert wanted to know.
‘If you want lemonade, go down to the factory down the street, they’ve got gallons of it; here you’re drinking piss like the rest of us.’ Bundy told Herbert.
‘What’d you do?’ Herbert said.
‘Naturally, I drank the beer he’d got for me.’ He remembered that moment when he placed the glass of beer up to his lips tasting the froth. His mind raced with the thought of, you fool you haven’t drank this stuff for four months, now you’ve got to make up for what you’ve missed out.
‘He’s a corker all right. I used to get caught with him too. So don’t feel too bad.’ Herbert said.

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'Confessions of an alcoholic' - Page 20: Page 21:

Charley returned with the drinks and said, ‘I don’t know why you drink this shit for, Bundy? It’s enough to make a willy-wag tail fight an emu.’
He bought two similar glasses. One had claytons tonic and the other scotch. It was hard to tell the difference between of each glass. Each drink looked the same. Herbert always mixed water with his scotch. Bundy poured the water from the jug into the glass, he thought was scotch; he accidentally poured the water into the glass containing claytons tonic.
Bloody hell, look what I’ve done. I poured water into my claytons drink instead of ginger ale. It’ll taste awful, he said to himself. He tasted his drink and felt his taste buds respond to a dry taste of the water mixed with claytons tonic instead of the sweet taste of ginger ale mix. This will do me for a drink, I like it, he thought.
He poured water into the other glass of scotch for Herbert.
‘Bundy do you remember the night I got you on the piss after you’d been off it for four months?’ Charley commented.
‘Yes, I’ve already told Herbert the story Charley, thank you.’ Bundy said.
‘Did you tell him about getting so pissed you almost missed the last train home, missed your station and went onto the end of the line?’
‘No, I didn’t tell him that story.’
‘Refresh my memory of that night, Bundy.’
‘Go on.’ Herbert coaxed.
‘Charley and I really made up for the four months I’d been off the piss. I can’t remember but I had to be on the last train home that night or I wouldn’t have got home at all, I just made the train before it pulled out of the station.’
‘I can relate to that one.’ Herbert remarked.
Bundy told his story, that once he boarded the train he fell asleep and failed to wake before the train arrived at his station. The conductor awakened him, and told him he had to get off the train. It was the last station on the line and there were no other trains until early the next morning. He walked fifteen kilometres home. The walk sobered him.
He had to start work again early the following morning at six o’clock. It was already five o’clock by the time he arrived home after walking fifteen kilometres and was sober. When he walked into the bedroom Ada woke up saying, ‘Is that you Bundy?’
‘Yes dear, I’ve got an early shift. Go back to sleep.’ He told her.
“I must be tied; I didn’t hear you come to bed. I must have slept like a log.’ She muttered.
‘I didn’t want to disturb you. I’ll see you tonight.’ He showered, dressed, had a quick bite to eat and left by the front door. He made it to the railway station just before his train arrived.
Charley was waiting when he arrived at work. Bundy was compelled to tell Charley the story of not having any sleep and to take it easy on him. Charley ed when Bundy told him his story, ‘That’ll teach you to drink with good old Charley.’
Bundy felt good about finally finding a drink, which was non-alcoholic and a taste he grew to like. He knew this was his last chance to make a change. He continued drinking claytons tonic with water each time he was at the hotel with his workmates. It became much easier for the others to accept this!

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'Confessions of an alcoholic' - Page 22:

He was asked to shout every second round instead of each round.
Each time Bundy wanted to order his drink; he arranged with the barman to ask for his ‘usual’, which was the claytons tonic in a five-ounce whisky glass. Bundy completed the ceremony by pouring water into the whisky glass and to make certain the water filled to the top of Cape York on the side of the glass. Whisky glasses have a map of Australia positioned about two thirds of the way on the side of the glass. Cape York was the highest point to the top of the glass. It became a bit of a joke but everyone accepted Bundy’s drink as his ‘usual’.
After six weeks of not drinking alcohol and arriving home early each day, placed Bundy in a position of ‘having too much time on his hands’. One afternoon when he arrived home he said to Ada, ‘I should’ve stopped drinking years ago. I’ve never had so much money before in my wallet,’ and handed the money to her.
‘You are a changed person, Bundy, but you’ve done this before. I don’t know when I can trust you again.’ He felt embarrassed about what Ada said to him. He was determined to make it work this time. There had been so many other times he had blown it. How can she ever trust me again?’ He thought.
He searched his mind for answers to find how he’d ever got to this point in his life, having no control over alcohol. Why couldn’t he be like his workmates? After they had only a few beers they could leave and go home. He couldn’t do that. He needed to stay to get drunk and couldn’t stop at one beer; he had to keep drinking until he couldn’t drink any more.
It was now up to him to search through his database of drinking history to find out how he came to be in the position he now found himself to be in. He didn’t want to seek help and knew what the problem was; alcohol had total control over him and for him to take total control over alcohol, he had to give it away completely and have nothing more to do with it ever again.