mzawf.org

This would have made a great joke

http://www.independent.ie/national-news ... 26967.html

But it's true - To be sure

SENSE OF FRESHNESS--A LITTLE WHILE AGO A NEW SUPERMARKET OPENED IN LANGFORD,CANADA.

It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.
Just before it goes on,you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you can hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal-grilled steaks with onions.

When you approach the egg case,you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh-baked bread and cookies.

I DON'T BUY TOILET PAPER THERE ANYMORE !!

MARY HAD A LITTLE PIG
SHE KEPT IT FED AND PLASTERED
AND WHEN THE PRICE OF PORK WENT UP
SHE SHOT THE LITTLE BASTARD

I'VE JUST LOST THE MONEY FOR MY WIFE'S EPILEPSY PRESCRIPTION IN THE BOOKIES.

SHE'LL HAVE A BLOODY FIT WHEN SHE FINDS OUT

A BLIND MAN WENT TO VISIT A PROSTITUTE.
ON FEELING HER PIMPLY FACE,HE RECOILED IN HORROR.
FEELING HURT SHE SAID TO HIM 'IT'S ONLY A BIT OF ACNE '.
'THANK FUCK FOR THAT ' HE REPLIED
'I THOUGHT IT WAS THE PRICE LIST'.

REMEMBER NOT TO DRINK AND DRIVE.
IF YOU DO, YOU MIGHT SPILL IT.




WHEN I WAS 2 YEARS OLD I MEMORISED THE ENTIRE ENCYCLOPAEDIA BRITANNICA,BUT NO ONE BELIEVED ME BECAUSE I COULDN'T TALK.

MY DOG MUST BE A BLOODHOUND.EVERY TIME IT BITES ME,I BLEED.

I GOT THE DOG FOR MY WIFE.I WISH I COULD MAKE A SWAP LIKE THAT EVERY DAY.

MY FIRST DAY AT SCHOOL,I WAS SO EXCITED I CUT MYSELF SHAVING.

WHEN I WAS 4 YEARS OLD MY FATHER CAUGHT ME SMOKING. I'LL NEVER FORGET HOW HE YELLED AT THE KID WHO SET ME ON FIRE.

BEFORE I GO,I WOULD LIKE TO BE SERIOUS FOR A MOMENT -- THAT'S ENOUGH

POLICE RAIDED KERMITS LILY PAD LAST NIGHT AND FOUND HUNDREDS OF NAKED PICTURES OF MISS PIGGY.
THEY SAID IT WAS THE WORST CASE OF FROGS PORN THEY HAD EVER SEEN.!