mzawf.org

Two Salopians stranded at sea in a little boat had a packet of fags but no matches. What did they do?

Simples! - They threw a cigarette over board and the boat became a cigarette lighter

I'll get my coat....

:indifferen

3 Nuns were talking about the priest and one said she found some pornagraphic books under his bed
while she was cleaning. She was asked what she done and said she threw them in the rubbish bin. The
2nd nun said she found a bunch of condoms in the laundry basket while doing the cleaning earlier and
that she poked holes in them so they were no good. The 3rd nun Fainted.

I WENT TO THE DOCTORS TODAY. HE SAID 'What seems to be the problem?' I SAID 'I keep thinking i'm a Racehorse' HE SAID
HE SAID 'When did this start?' I TOLD HIM 'When i won the Grand National'.

CLEANEST JOKE I EVER DID SAY


WENT TO DOCTORS. HE SAID 'what's the problem?' I SAID 'i keep thinking i'm a bar of soap'. HE SAID 'that's lifebuoy'.

I WENT TO THE DOCTOR AND HE SAID 'what's the problem?' I replied 'when i touch my arm it hurts,when i touch my leg it hurts,my stomach,my face,my feet.Please doc what is wrong with me?' He said ' You've broken your finger'.

IF walking and cycling is good for your health--the postman would be Immortal

A whale swims all day and eats fish,drinks water and is Fat.

A Rabbit runs and hops all the time but only lives 15 years.

A Tortoise dosen't run and actually does nothing and yet it lives for 450 years.

I am told to exercise,I DON'T THINK SO.I am retired and in bed,GO AROUND ME