Sarah's Sussex Blues

[Sarah]

[Sarah]

If interfering was an Olympic sport, I'd have a meddle in it.

I'm not sure why there's a need for nipple clamps. I've never even seen an illegally parked nipple....

visit...Sarah's Sussex Blues gig lists...

[Sarah]

Last night I had a dream a fella was shouting at us 'on your marks, get set, GO'
I woke up with a start....

A male friend of mine found an old oil lamp, gave it a rub and out popped a genie. Typical of his luck he got a genie with a hearing problem - does anyone have a use for a 10inch pianist?....

[Sarah]

I went for a job interview and the fella who was interviewing me said 'I'm looking for someone who's responsible'
'Well, that's me' I said, 'whenever something went wrong at my last job, they said I was responsible' ....

[Sarah]

When I was a baby my parents used to bath me in cheap australian lager
It wasn't until I was 18 I realised I had been fostered

[Sarah]

I witnessed an altercation between an auctioneer and a hairdresser yesterday
they were going at hammer and tongs

[Sarah]

I have just spent £300 om limousine hire and discovered that the fee does not incude a driver
All that money and nothing to chauffeur it!

[Sarah]

I recently saw a post saying...Scientists have successfully grown human vocal chords in a petri dish
The results speak for themselves

[Sarah]

I bought a new television yesterday and it says 'Built in Antenna'
I couldn't find Antenna on any maps