Sarah's Sussex Blues

by **Sarah** » Thu Jun 16, 2022 1:42 pm

I've just been to the Drs with a suspicious looking mole :shock:

The Dr said [47_47.gif]

they all look like that and to take it back to the garden.... Bosh! :joker

A lovely, generous and kind woman passed away and found herself outside a beautiful garden with splashing fountains and bright flowers, but she was alone and the gate was locked.
St. Peter came by and the woman said to him, "This is surely Heaven, how do I get in?" "You have to spell a word," said St Peter. "What word might that be?" she asked "Love." said he. Well, she spelled it correctly and was admitted through the gates of Heaven.
About a year later, St. Peter asked the same woman if she would mind guarding the gates a short while for him. While she was waiting, her husband arrived on the other side. "How've you been?" she asked. "Oh, not bad," he said. "I married the pretty nurse who took care of you, and then I won the lottery. I sold our little cottage and bought a huge mansion. My wife and I traveled around the world and today we were skiing and I fell and broke my neck and...and here I am. How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word." His wife replied
"What word?" he asked
"unbloodyunbefrigginlybelievablyisdoomed".... raised to the power of 10 :innocent

https://www.facebook.com/SussexBluesArchive [guitar.gif]

by **Sarah** » Sat Aug 13, 2022 11:15 am

I'm looking for someone to brush their teeth with me. :-D

I just heard that 9 out of 10 dentists say brushing alone won't reduce cavities.... :rotfl

https://www.facebook.com/SussexBluesArchive [guitar.gif]

by **Sarah** » Thu Aug 18, 2022 3:12 pm

I booked a milk bath as a treat at our local health spa
“Do you want it pasteurised?” asked the receptionist
I relied “No, just under my chin will do”.... [laugh.gif]

https://www.facebook.com/SussexBluesArchive [guitar.gif]

......

by **Sarah** » Thu Sep 08, 2022 9:06 am

A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an old lady and an old man peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the old couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity. He called them into his shop, "I know that on a pension you could never hope to have an expensive holiday, so I'm sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense and I won't take 'no' for an answer." He took them inside and asked his secretary to arrange two flight tickets and a room in a five star hotel in an exclusive resort." They, as can be expected, gladly accepted.
About a month later the old lady came into his shop. "And how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly. "The flight was exciting and the room and resort were lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you, but one thing puzzled me, who was that old fella I had to share the room with?".... [partyanimal.gif]

https://www.facebook.com/SussexBluesArchive [guitar.gif]

by **Sarah** » Sat Sep 24, 2022 3:21 pm

It’s been proven that nine out of ten single people who sit at home and talk to their cats, are mentally disturbed.
My dog is full of useful information like that!...
:glasses

Sarah's Sussex Blues [guitar.gif]

https://www.facebook.com/SussexBluesArchive

by **Sarah** » Tue Oct 04, 2022 1:20 pm

I spent my whole life being proud of my English heritage [Freedom_msn.uk.gif]

until I found out that my great grandfather was actually from Transylvania :-D

Now I can’t even look at myself in the mirror.... :glasses

Sarah's Sussex Blues [guitar.gif]

https://www.facebook.com/SussexBluesArchive