[b]I've just found out there's a tennis ball sale at the sports club, first come first served....[/b] :wub
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I was shopping in Tesco yesterday and there was a weird looking child running around like a lunatic.
I said to the bloke standing next to me, "That is one ugly kid." :o
He looked at me and snarled, "Do you mind, that's my son!!"
I smiled :-D and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were his dad."
He said, "I'm not his dad. I'm his mother!".... :party
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[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xbdyg51MVbg[/youtube] :wub :earth
[attachment=0]luma xmas.jpg[/attachment]

[b]I renewed my car insurance over the phone just now and as I was about to hang up the lady asked if I had a pet?
"Yes" I said "I have two dogs"
"Would you like to insure them too" she asked
"No thanks" I replied, "their feet don't reach the pedals"....[/b] :joker

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The Pope is visiting the UK and Little Jimmy pushes his way to the front of the crowd.
"Please, Sir.." he asks the Pope, "Can you help me with my hearing?"
"Certainly, my child." replies the Pope and gently puts his hands over the lad's ears. After a few minutes he takes his hands away and says,
"How is your hearing now, my son?"
Jimmy replies, "I don't know.. it's not until next Wednesday."....

[guitar.gif] S[b]arah's Sussex Blues[/b] [guitar.gif] :group [guitar.gif] https://www.facebook.com/SussexBluesArchive

[tab=70]My mates wife asked him if her appendix scar made her look unattractive.
Apparently, the response of "don't worry love, your boobs cover it" wasn't the answer she was looking for.... :rotfl

Just a quick plug for my cousin Leonard's new optician business.
For all your eye-wear needs, contact Len's.... :lol:
[guitar.gif] S[b]arah's Sussex Blues[/b] [guitar.gif] :group [guitar.gif] https://www.facebook.com/SussexBluesArchive

A 5th year teacher was giving her primary pupils a lesson in developing logical thinking.'
This is the scene' said the Teacher. :getsmiley
'A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of the river,fishing.
He loses his balance,falls in and begins splashing and yelling for help.
His wife hears the commotion,knows he can't swim,and runs down to the bank.
Why do you think she ran to the bank?'.
A little girl raises her hand and asked 'To draw out all his savings?' :shock: :lol:
[guitar.gif] S[b]arah's Sussex Blues[/b] [guitar.gif] :group [guitar.gif] https://www.facebook.com/SussexBluesArchive

[quote]Dog shaming, also known as animal shaming, is an internet meme in which an image of a dog or other animal is uploaded to the internet with a sign which describes some recent negative behaviour perpetrated by the animal. The meme originated on Tumblr in August 2012. Wikipedia
Originally published: 24 September 2013
Author: Pascale Lemire
[/quote]
:applause :notworthy [url=https://www.dogshaming.com/]dogshaming[/url] :wub

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